Previously I’ve been a bit reluctant to add to the myriad of books, blogs, podcasts and research reports in the world. But I think there’s a gap in the conversation about the deceptively hard world of being a leader at a human level.

In my opinion, there’s too much philosophising and theorising about leadership making it hard for people to navigate the practicalities. You know, what it actually takes to navigate the inner workings and outer mechanics of leading yourself and other people.

So, having decided to create more candid conversations about leadership for humans I found myself finger on the keyboard embracing a bad case of imposter’s syndrome and a challenging case of writer’s block.

It’s been a painful few months.

Conventional wisdom says to sort out your frailties then you’ll be good to go. But I say don’t. Don’t sort out your frailties first that is. 

It’s the act of making stuff happen that really puts those frailties to rest. Actually doing stuff is the perfect distraction to our overly imaginative mind.

The human mind is designed to protect us at all costs. To de-risk what we do. Our imagination is a finely tuned fear making machine that talks us out of doing anything we might have a grain of doubt about. It soothes our worry brilliantly giving us permission to give up. To not bother. 

And as a bonus, the voice in our head gives us excuse after excuse to use on ourselves. 

How often has your highly creative mind talked you out of a perfectly good idea or intention? That sneaky voice in your head that tells you to hang on, to hang back, to play it safe?

When we listen to ourselves too hard or too often we stop doing anything at all. We delay and procrastinate until the opportunity is gone. How convenient? How frustrating? How self-stress inducing?

How confidence-sapping is all that emotional baggage we carry around?

But when we let ourselves off the hook we’re left luxuriating in our comfort zone. That cosy place where we can lock out our worries for another day. 

Until of course reality kicks in and we realise we are back where we started. No progress made and our human frailties intact. Perfect conditions to mentally brutalise ourselves all over again. 

The mind is a powerful thing that’s not as useful as we’d like it to be. But when you lead your mind instead of following your natural instincts, almost anything is possible.

When our imagination stokes fear and loathing, we can reset our frame of mind to generate positive optimism and switch anxiety to confidence. When we’re feeling weak and vulnerable, we muster our courage and get on with the work anyway.

How clever we are if we choose to lead. 

I know as I waited until everything is clear in my head before I start writing, nothing got written. My ideas and opinion were self-silenced. 

Similarly, when I listened to my inner world view that there’s already enough written in the world by leadership coaches, it did help me and frustrated my ambition to help people who struggle to do something hard that they don’t feel well equipped to do. 

As much as people turn to me as an expert in leadership, I’m as human as anyone with my own mind playing games with me.  Believe me, the sense of irony is not lost on me.

If leadership is anything it’s about embracing who you are as a human being and making choices. Leadership is the difference between staying cosy in your comfort zone or hauling yourself off the metaphorical sofa and into action. 

I’m not saying any of this is easy but the better we know ourselves and lead ourselves the better it is for everyone.

And, certainly is for your psyche.

There’s so much more to explore about how mindset, and other human characteristics, affects how we create for others. 

It’s why I’m backing festivals like MOD, Mindset of Design. This is a weeklong festival of events, workshops and networking exploring the what it truly takes to be human-centric when you’re designing for others.

Whether you’re leading other people, designing products and services or starting new ventures that help people, it all starts with what’s going on in the mind. Your mind, and the minds of the people you aim to serve.

So if you’re in in the business of making change happen, starting from scratch or wrangling technology to work better for people MOD is the place to bring a human-centric view to your work. 

My colleague Sarb Johal and I going to be there co-creating conversations about embracing leadership for humans. 

There are also other fascinating sessions for you to think more deeply about being human, such as:

• Listening – the missing half of the conversation
• Play with purpose
• Gaining self-mastery
• Creative Resilience
• Storytelling with purpose.

Come to Wellington and join the conversation. Find like-minds and people who think very differently to you.

And, if you can’t make it to Wellington in November, I’ll be back sharing what I learned so we can all work better by embracing our human-side.

Chauvinism aside, Harry has good insight into human nature.

• How much more do we prefer an idealised version of ourselves? 
• What do we know about ourselves that we turn a blind eye to?
• What is the good in us that we’re uncomfortable accepting?

In the leadership stakes, self-awareness is considered to be a pre-requisite. Although studies have shown that this is a rarer quality than you might think because self-knowledge is a combination of internal self-awareness (how we see and experience ourselves) and external self-awareness (how other people see and experience us).

But in my experience, knowing yourself isn’t enough. It’s accepting who you are that is truly liberating. 

This means embracing your talents, your foibles, your idiosyncrasies and limitations for what they are. We all have them. It’s what makes us human. And, in my opinion much more interesting to know.

But, in my experience, most people eschew such radical self-inquiry. Often this is because we think being emotionally intelligent is all fluff and woo-woo or we’re too emotionally squeamishness and can’t face what they might find out about ourselves.

Get to grips with this internal and external perspective of yourself and you’ll be happier, more creative and more satisfied in life and work. And, able to just lead better because you’re less likely to play the mind games that hold us back and reduce the friction in our relationships that can bring us down.

The added bonus of mental and emotional flossing is that it doesn’t just help us to operate better ourselves but helps us to better understand other people too. Self-empathy is the root of being more empathetic with others.

There’s a bit of Harry Burns in all of us. We judge other people with clarity but harbour vagueness about ourselves. Even the most self-knowing people are apt to dismiss the best and worst bits about themselves, leaving a muddled tangle in the mind to contend with.

In the past, people were interpreted on the basis of their personality types but thankfully people sciences, such as neuroscience and behavioural economics, are helping us know ourselves and others better based on the biological cues we get from our brain and the psychological clues we can read in other people’s behaviour.

Humans are complicated but thankfully there is a myriad of tools to help us bring an outside perspective to ourselves. 

There’s nothing like a good self-assessment quiz, profile, reflection or feedback activity to prompt awareness and deepen your self-knowledge. These tools help you bring more perspective to yourself and other people.

My latest favourite is one that helps people explore their creative ‘personality’. Designed by the fine folks at Adobe it’s biased towards ‘creative types’ but truthfully applies to everyone, whether we consider ourselves creative or not.

According to the test, my creative type is “An Adventurer”. Reading through the profile results I started to get all sorts of internal resistance. Firstly resistance to being typecast at all, then resistance to the nuances of the profile itself. After browsing the full range of types I saw more of “The Producer” in me. 

This response made me question, and not for the first time, whether I’m answering the questions to reinforce an idealised version of myself rather than my real self. And, whether subconsciously I’m frightened to appreciate myself.

Whilst it’s good to know what ‘type’ of person you are, it’s knowing what you think and feel about the profile results that give you self-knowledge

Go try the mycreativetype assessment and see how this makes you think about yourself and others.This article is based on my musings and research for a booklet I’m writing about self-leadership, self-awareness and self-acceptance and its role in liberating leadership.

So, I’m curious to know what you think is the hardest thing about getting to know yourself or others better?

Please leave a comment and let me know.